The lost of reason and knowledge makes life very demanding to live. We are born into a life that needs much fixing but little do any of us know this or when we do find out do we understand how to go about it? Because people in general are damaged, things seem like this is the way life is and that there is no other way. “Just get over it¨ one may say of the things that have happened to us. Get over what and how? The world in general is born, grows up and dies damaged in reason never knowing what life is suppose to be like. This article is to help you understand the phychodynamics of dysfunctional human behaviour at work.
My hope is that in this article you will find a beginning point in having an understanding of yourself and others and begin your process to greater living at a spiritual level. If you find this is enlightening than pass it forward and be a quiet resounding ripple to others.
First lets define what cruelty is:
CRUEL [krÈÉ əl](comparative cru¡Pel¡Per, superlative cru¡Pel¡Pest) adj
1. merciless: deliberately and remorselessly causing pain or anguish
2. bringing about pain: brigning about pain and distress
3. condition of being cruel: the quality or condition of being cruel
4. deliberately cruel act: an act that deliberately causes pain and distress
5. low psychological or physical pain: the infliction of pain, distress or anguish, especially when it is long-term and considered extreme enough to be grounds for divorce
I think the above definition is quite clear on what we are talking about. Weather it is physical cruelty or mental cruelty the result is the same and the application for healing from it is also the same. The immediate result of cruelty upon the inflicted is “Resentment¨ of the oppressor. Here lies the root cause of all our insanities! Resentment. Lets understand what this means. The root word for resentment means to rethink or relive again in the mind. It is a lingering of the experience in the mind of the inflicted. A person once having received cruelty replays the event again and again reliving the experience. So the person finds themselves talking about the event to everyone trying to justify that they are not wrong in their thinking. The person tries to find collaborators to side with them as a means of mental survival. The need to be satisfy that they exist in other words. The events continue resurfacing anyway and what follows it? Anger a by product.
Children, having no defense growing up, later end up in jail and mental institution because they have been mentally screwed and have lost their identity as a human being and are in conflict with their innocents thru the inflicted cruelty. They have no true personal identity to stand on and so will gravitate to gangs or anything for acceptance. Or a person will succumb to isolation becoming anti-social, etc. Resentment plays millions of tricks with our minds. One of them is to make us feel lost and empty, and that intensifies the need for love and approval. This opens the door to binges with food and sex anything to fill the emptiness. But when we find gratification through people, places, and things, as love substitutes, we are literally breeding addiction within ourselves. Why? Because the pleasure is only a love substitute, which by its very nature feeds the anger that gave rise to it, making us even more angry and round it goes.
Now why does it makes us feel lost and empty to begin with? When cruelty is inflicted upon us especially by our parents it has the same effect as rejection. We are made to feel less than human, unacceptable, demeaned, unvalued. Our identity as a valuable person of family and society is denied us and so we develop an identity crisis within us as a result. Low self esteem and self pity engulfs us as a result, which is what plaques all alcoholics, but such feelings are nothing more than another trick of resentment at work. For no matter how we may see things in our minds or others it is not real. It is an abstract way of looking at life. In God’s eyes we are a precious spiritual potential jewel . It is a fake notion being realized in the subconscious which lives as a matrix. It is unreality away from Yahweh (God).
Lets look at some examples of everyday cruelty some obvious and some not so easily understood as cruelty. In the emotional heat of the moment we usually don’t respond in a logical manner but with emotional reaction and this is when entrapment takes place in the mind.
1. You may simply be standing some place minding your own business when someone looks at you with an evil eye for no reason at all. Females seem to have a nag for this. Your reaction is “what in the world is their problem¨ You have just been had if you reacted emotionally.
2. You are at work as a hair stylist. Your status is that that of a subcontractor so duties do not require attending to the business of the store. The owner however, comes in and in an intimidating manner claps his hand instructing you to “lets warm up the atmosphere and get busy¨. You at this moment have no appointments. His clapping his hands is a demeaning manner of causing you to respond to his intimidation. If you reacted than you’ve been had.
3. A man comes home from work and decides to lay in the couch to relax and turns on the television. The demanding wife, piled with issues of her own coupled with taking care of the children, comes into the room exclaims”why don¡¦t you get off the couch and do something”.
If he responds emotionally he has been had.
4. A customer, after you have provided them with impeccable customer service, calls customer service complaint department complaining you have not served them completely. An item on back order has not come in on time, no fault of your own, but the customer decides to vent her frustration against you. If you respond with infuriation you’ve been had.
5. A family is having a discussion and a 7 year old jumps in to give his opinion. One of the parent looks at the child and sternly shuts them up saying “Be quiet you are only a kid what do you know”. This is cruelty of innocents. Parents usually are the first and biggest intimidators setting the stage for all future tyrants and whimps.
6. The husband innocently while taking a shower doesn’t take notice of some cloths his wife has just washed hanging inside the shower and they get wet. His mind is on setting down for the night to come together with his wife. His wife goes into the shower notices the wet cloth comes out to the room where her husband is waiting for her in bed and gives it to him. “Why didn¡¦t you notice the cloths in the shower?” You have wetted them again! The husband totally oblivious is shocked by this sudden correction by his wife. His mode is thrown off. She minutes later comes in the room expecting him to be ready for romance.
7. An abusive husband comes in expecting his dinner. He has had conflict at work. The wife who has been busy cleaning the house and taking care of three children one who is sick gets beat up for her negligence in tending to his needs.
8. Recently I was on a plane which landed in the wrong ariport. After waiting with no definite information I went to the front of the plane for a breather and to inquire of the situation. A woman sitting down in the front seat exclaimed “everyone needs to get back to their seat. This is my space”. She actually told me to move away. I was rather stunned at such behaviour and felt sorry all this woman in her mind was her space. Her whimpy husband I could see was a submissive man.
Resentment opens the gateway to the mind and allows the perpetrator to impose subjective ideas, beliefs or what ever they want in a person. Lets take for example a child that is contineously being shutdown by the parents or laugh at. They will have a hard time speaking before an audience of people. The fear of making a mistake overtakes them with nervousness and they are unable to have a foot to stand on in speaking before a public audience. They have been subjected to brainwashing into having an inferiority complex. A sick form of domination has being imposed on them they have no idea of.
Cruelty comes in many shapes and form and comes into full bloom when two people finally come together in marriage. It is the building block of an emotional sick society in any culture. The violators intention is to subdue the other thru the tactics of mind control. This is what happening although the average person, even the perpetrators in general, have no idea what is going on. Many however do know what they are doing and these are the most dangerous of people. Our parents unfortunately are in fact our first violators in life. And because they are seen as “God” in the eyes of their children the affects on them is more severe than anything else a human being could experience. The fear of a child being rejected by their parents is the driving force which leaves a child at the mercy of this situation. Eventually such violation will lead a person to kill themselves or the violator. A 15 years old in jail for 30 years was interview and asked why he killed his aunt with a butcher knife. His responded “I knew if I killed my mother’s sister in this way that this would kill my mother a slow death for all the wrong she did to me.¨
Wives are somehow excellent at violating their children and husband and they learn this from their mothers as they grow up. They have a nap for knowing exactly how to push those buttons which upsets especially the husband. My wife has been honest enough to confirm that females do in facts know this very well. Children who then learn the same also drive the parents up the wall and its starts when they are very little and begin to demand what they want with tantrums and stamping of the feet. The parent might then look at the child and say “what have I done to deserve a child like this¨ When you see this with a knowing mind for what it is you can only drop your jaws at such comments.
Marriage is the breeding grounds for the perpetuation of generation of will be tyrants and whimps. Lets concider a homosexual/lesbian lifestyle. I know this is a delicate subject which should be treated with great care but the adoption of such behaviour as a cultural normacy needs to be address without reservation. I however, have had my share of street life and have seen the dying souls as I personaly drove female dancers all doped up to their nightly hades. I submit such a turn in life is cultivated in a young boy or girl early in life. The main ingredient is the absence of a father figure or an abusive one who beats the child into a female type submission. To be accepted by an abusive father a young boy will develop the abusive nature of the father and end up a tyrant. In the case of a whimpy father or the absence of one, the angry mother will unleashed her frustration at her son thereby penetrating his mind into submission by her screaming and shouting and other forms of dysfunctional behaviors.
The more the son turns in to her she loves him. If he tries to behave as his nature demands a man, she submits him again and again with retaliation by hellesh demeaning shouting and rejection. Resistance eventually becomes futile. He again and again submits until thru the mothers cruelty and the absence of father he takes on her identity with every physical and mental being. Yet deep inside he hates her. He grows up brainwashed believing he was born this way. His innocents has been violated. A one on one deep down honest scutinity of a homosexual will reveal a true story they don¦t want to surface. They eventually turn to drugs to numb and suppress their deep agony. A great majority of men grow up half man half women and don ‘t about it. Ever wonder why a man in jail will rape another man? It’s the angry female in him causing this. A form of domination being inflicted. The female side seeking to dominate what was transfer to him by his mother as he grew up. Lets be clear that a tramactic sexual abuse experience as a child is a trauma. The formal is a forced learned behaviour.
Analyzing The Cycle of Cruelty
Now lets take a look at what is actually taking place in our mind when these various forms of irritations take place. Understand that this is happening at warp speed when it takes place. One therefore has to grasp this phenomenom in slow motion in order to comprehend the driving force of all our emotional dysfunctions. So lets take a close look at the chain of event as venomous cruelty takes its course in our mind.
Resentment: sting you felt to emotional uupset; it is an inferior way of reacting to cruelty; it is a re-enatment in the mind of the cruel event; it is recyled in the mind contineously.
Anger: a by product of resentment; makes you doubt yourself even if you are correct; the violator defies logic and reasoning by arguing back with you refusing to acknowledge wrong causing you to doubt yourself. (i.e.) a parent will cry when a teenage corrects them casuing the teenager to fell guilty; a sense of failed lover regards to parent, husband or love ones; this lead to frustration and confussion in the psychic.
Guilt: you feel a sense of being wrong or worthlessness and end up giving in to your oppressor for fear of rejection; abandoment; sense of rejection by God in essence. In other words you think in your mind “I must be wrong”.
Repressed anger: piled of of emotional insecurity, self doubt, gult, and failed love. Low self esteem, violation of the mind, frustrations and confussion. All the emotional upsets packed together.
Depression: repressed anger; unreleased energy; unresolved issues; lost of identity; sense of incompetence and demoralizing feeling; self pity; the lost desire to continue living. Leads to many forms of addictions.
Panic attack: stress caused by emotional upset and withheld rage drives body into a survial defence mode; sense of impending death; lost of breath and increased heart beat; feeling of roller coaster ride; feeling of inpending death at hand; leads to Prozac or other forms of meditions.
Back to cruelty; comes around again by outside events or internalized cycle of event replaying itself in the mind as a result of unresolved conflicts.
At the end “Judegement” is given birth which perpetuates the cycle without end.
Recap:
Cruelty (irritation cause by other people)=Resentment (sting; emotional upset reaction; inferior way of responding)=Anger (doubt; failed love;frustration; confussion)=Guilt (a feeling you are somehow wrong)=Repressed Anger (result of giving in to cruelty for fear of rejection)=Depression (created emotional stress in the body)=Panic Attack (way of physical unleashing its survival defence mechanism and release piled up emotion)= prozac or other anti depresen medication
It will take sometime to observe and understand the above at work. The dysfunctional thought process a person has become so use to is the crippling energy which keeps resentment alive. By having an understanding mind of what has happened, is happening and will continue to happen is key to coming out of this deep mire and becoming a true wholesome person.
You can’t do it alone however! You must have Yaweh’s devine help thru the power of the Holy Spirit in order to not fall trapped to people’s cruelty. Yahshuah (Jesus) during his sentencing and execution responded how? He remained calm, none responsive. When cruelty comes around and it will look at it like a video happening before your eyes. If you respond catch yourself, step back and just observe and pray. Your Ego will rear it’s urgly head and get the best of you if you don’t turn to God. It has, it is and will always be about your Ego, its all about your own sin.
That is why you react.
You must find that unique spiritual isolated place in you mind from all your worries and troubles. That quiet place where you are separated from yourself so you can see from outside the circle of your troubles. As long as your are caught up with yourself and trying to make sense of things with other peoples input, they are in no better position than you, you will continue in this fly trap othes have set up for you. You must let go and let GOD! It is the only way and it will not be easy because your ego will fight within you to keep alive.
Click the link below for a safe way to release stress in general. I have selected the source below after careful evaluation and consideration of the technique used. In general most meditation processies are nothing more than hypnotizing practices. Find the “Be Still and Know” meditation.
http://www.fhu.com/meditation.html
**This is not to be confussed with stress caused by finances or other stress casuing factors not associated with personal cruelty. However, the response and effect is the same.